The first thing I would do in a poetry exam is read the poem not only once, but a several times, highlighting and annotating on the side anything that catches my attention; try to look for any literary elements like metaphors, alliteration, etc, as well as the structure and form of the poem. After doing that with this poem, I came up with the following observations and interpretations:
1. Effect of diction and how it creates imagery. This is a very descriptive poem, and almost every noun is preceded by an adjective. This creates a lot of visual imagery (image clusters). I think that the most effective quotations are:
"Blue mountain white snow gleam"
"Pine bulk and slender needle-sprays" (Here there is also alliteration!)
"A naked bug with a white body and brown hair"
Overall, there is a lack of verbs, while there is an excess of adjectives.
2. Structure and sound
a) The uncompleted sentences in the first four-five lines create a fast rhythm, that slows down as the “sentences spread apart” towards the end of the stanza.
b) Alliteration and mimesis:
- Little hemlock half in shade
- "Ragged rocky skyline”. The r sound imitates the skyline. Hard to say fast, somehow reminds me of mountains.
- "Biggest little lake”
3) The way the sentences are arranged in each stanza takes the shape of a basin.
If this was my poetry exam after reading Camille Paglia's commentary, I would....
Camille Paglia's commentary on "Old Pond" by Gary Synder made me realize that my previous response to the poem merely discussed the observations and patterns I saw. It really lacked further insight and interpretation of the elements I had found (but I would probably blame this on my "still developing" writing skills). After reading the paper I can say that my observations were good and that some of the ideas I had behind them as well.
One of the observations Paglia and I have in common, is the effect caused by the imagery, specially in the first four lines of the poem. However, whilst I only focused on diction, Paglia discussed the lack of punctuation. Together punctuation and adjectives lets the words in the opening lines "float dreamily free, re-creating the poet's overwhelmed first impression". The description of the landscape uses in my opinion very simple and straightforward words. Synder uses color to describe the "blue mountains" and "white snow". Paglia comments on the effect of this, by how it hits "the eye before the mind can organize them logically". The reader is therefore filled with this color and imagery, the visualization of a blue sky and mountain covered in snow, dominating the scenery. The line "pine bulk and slender needle-sprays" conveys the green of the landscape, covered with pine trees conveying the "heft and delicacy of the massed trees". Paglia's interpretation on this line is somehow out of my reach. The fact that this is a metaphor sounds strange to me, and leaves me wondering what is its effect on the theme of the poem. Nevertheless, I agree on how she compared the first lines with a Haiku.
Another similar observation is on the fourth line: "Ragged rocky skyline”. Paglia focuses on the imagery created by the words. The adjective "ragged" compares the blue sky with a torn cloth, with an irregular surface created by the rocky mountains. Paglia suggests that in the poem mountains are not portrayed as strong and permanent as we would usually think of them, but somehow very gentle, showing once again the limited vision of humans. For this quote I also interpreted the alliteration of the "r" sound. In my opinion, the repetition of this sound, makes it difficult to say this line quickly, therefore suggesting the same idea for the skyline, since it is broken by the mountains.
In the second part of the poem, Snyder states that he has taken us to Five Lakes Basin. At this point I really lacked interpretation, therefore Paglia's paper helped me a lot to understand the poem and the big idea behind it. The most important aspect of this stanza is the description of the "naked bug with a white body and brown hair". It is strange how Snyder has decided to use the word bug, because the reader thinks it is a literal description and that indeed he is talking about an insect. However, Paglia suggests that the bug is a metaphor for humans. This interpretation shows how "nature sees man as nothing but a naked bug"; vulnerable to the immensity of the Earth. The bug/human is ordinary, has "no name, possessions, social status, or even discernible gender". The color white suggests human's innocence, weakness and vulnerability to nature. Line 10 "after all day scrambling on the peaks" suggests the adventurous and childish side of humans; their desire of discovering new things, of seeing and doing things they have never done, the adrenaline of escaping into the wilderness.
Camille Paglia also comments on the last line of the poem. The word "splash" is mimesis, creating a "joky finale", suggesting that man is clearing his mind of "trivialities and false ideas", and somehow letting nature take over him and dominate him. The exclamation mark at the end of this word is a sign of enthusiasm and relief. As she describes towards the end of the commentary, the poem describes the "subordination to, rather than conquest of, nature". It illustrates man's "quest for meaning as a process of divestment"; leaving behind us everything that is unnecessary and an emotional baggage, and try to return to our self.
I really enjoyed reading Paglia's commentary on "Old Pond". She offers a lot of insight into things one would have considered obvious, but that indeed form important elements in this poem. She also provides some extra background information, which although will not be available to us during our exam serves as a way of understanding the poem right now. The structure of her commentary is simple but very helpful. She interprets the poem in order, making it easy to see the development of the ideas, and how it leads to the central meaning of the poem.I think this way of analyzing this poem is probably more effective because it allows her ideas progress in order. It is always fun to read this type of essays because it provides me fresh ideas and ideas of things I sometimes simply ignore.
Gary Snyder "Old Pond"
Blue mountain white snow gleam
Through pine bulk and slender needle-sprays;
little hemlock half in shade,
ragged rocky skyline,
single clear flat nuthatch call:
down from the treetrunks
up through time.
At Five Lakes Basin's
Biggest little lake
after all day scrambling on the peaks,
a naked bug
with a white body and brown hair
dives in the water
Splash!
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